An Open Letter to Activision Blizzard

I know I’ve been bitching recently about how you money-grubbing cockshiners have decided to split the hotly anticipated StarCraft 2 into three–THREE separate games, one for each playable race. I know I railed on you for what was essentially charging us $100 more than you deserve to because your game is just sooooo long and full of content that there’s just NO WAY you could ever fit it into one retail package. I know that, in my anger, I’ve called you names and promised to boycott it and your other products.

For these things, I apologize. I spoke to soon and I’m sorry.

In a recent announcement introducing the $100 collector’s edition (of the first game of the three, of course), you have offhandedly confirmed that the normal edition of the game will, indeed, cost $60. Not the standard PC game MSRP of $50, but $60. Like with Modern Warfare 2, you shitstains have deemed that your game is somehow PREMIUM and ABOVE ALL OTHERS on the market and therefore NEEDS to be $10 more than everyone else’s games. In an almost cartoonish display of greed and contempt for the consumer, you pinpoint your games which you know a large amount of people are anticipating, and then jack the price up an extra 20% because you know everyone will buy it anyway.

I apologize for calling you all righteous cunts for charging us $150, because now it seems that you are actually going to charge us $180.

So please, accept my apology and my new position that you pole-smoking thundercunts should be dragged into the street and shot for your incomprehensible greediness. I will never, EVER in my lifetime purchase any new item bearing the name Activision or Blizzard, and you have even tainted my love of the original StarCraft by being massive shitbirds.

Fuck You,



About djsharpecheddar

Have you seen a little girl?
This entry was posted in Original Content, Stupid News and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to An Open Letter to Activision Blizzard

  1. chargedblast says:

    wow…are they serious? how can anyone give a shit about this company anymore? I’m so sick of this new fucking business model that the game industry just seems to LOVE. I’ll join you in a nice big FUCK YOU to activision blizzard. Assholes.

  2. Activision is a far cry from what it started as, no doubt. Bob Whitehead, one of Activision’s founding father’s, has this to say about the current state of the industry.

    “It’s too dark and derivative for my taste. The console and computer gaming business is too narrowly defined by the 14 [year old] male mentality and all his not-so-honorable fantasies. It’s being driven by what has worked and afraid of what a 10 million dollar development bust will entail. It has lost its moral compass.”

    In 1984 he left Activision and started Accolade with Alan Miller, another Activision founding father. What’s funny about that is that Accolade eventually got bought by Infogrames, which shortly afterwards changed their name to Atari; the company the Activision guys originally left to form Activision. Of course, at this time Atari was only a name. A mere shadow of it’s original self.

    All the original guys left Activision in the mid-eighties. In 1988 Activision changed it’s name to Mediagenic. A couple years later it was taken over by an investor group led by, guess who… Robert Kotick.

    The rest is cockshiner history.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s