Zombies in Red Dead Redemption.

BO-RING Let's gets some fukin ZOMBIES IN THERE, BRO

I’m sorry. Are you fucking kidding?

You guys really couldn’t have come up with anything more interesting for a DLC pack than  ZOMBIES in a WESTERN? (By the way, Zombies and DLC: a match made in bullshit heaven.)

This is such a stuuuuuppid trend these days. World War 2 game? ZOMBIES. Urban supercop crime fighting game? FUCKING ZOMBIES. “___ Tycoon” games? Oh yes, ZOMBIE TYCOON. Insane.

Hey video game developers! Are you at a loss for enemies in your game? Need a completely unsympathetic, faceless horde for the player to fetishistically mow down? Want to capitalize on a popular trend that virtually nobody actually understands? And are you a DANGEROUSLY UNCREATIVE DIPSHIT?! ZOOOMBBIEEES!!!!

Fuck you idiots for ruining something I used to like a lot. I watched Night of the Living Dead for the first time when I was six years old and now you’ve made the undead unBEARABLE to me.

Big ups to my brodawg Zacky Snyder for starting this shit avalanche with the Dawn of the Dead remake. Zombies CAN’T RUN at 40 MPH, you IDIOT. They’re DECOMPOSING BODIES. They SHAMBLE.

And let’s not forget Valve with Left 4 Dead. After actually making some convincing and unnerving zombie sequences in Half-Life 2 they had to go and fart out that worthless piece. Thanks, guys.

Here’s a little protip for you, to help you determine whether or not your zombie media deserves to be using them as a plot. Do they actually call them “zombies”? If they do, then FUCK THEM.


About djsharpecheddar

Have you seen a little girl?
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2 Responses to Zombies in Red Dead Redemption.

  1. chargedblast says:

    they should make a game where you are the zombie! oh wait they tried that and that shit sucked too. oh well

  2. Matty says:

    Well, I’m seven months too late, but I’ll drop a line any way: Don’t know if you ever actually sat down to played it. My thoughts were the same as yours when I heard the news. Shit, I can’t really stand the concept of zombies in general, but being that I was in want of new gaming content and left deeply unsatisfied by virtually every other game released right now, I hunkered down for a weekend, purchased the “Undead Nightmare” pack and… actually enjoyed it.

    I think what made it work for me is the lack linear level design. Unlike most zombie games/modes, playing a sandbox zombie game is actually fun. Especially considering that there are plenty of non-zombie related myth-oriented side adventures, like finding and breaking the four horses of the apocalypse and hunting sasquatches (If that’s your thing).

    In most other zombie games, you feel overwhelmed and either rushed forward or trapped in one place. In “Undead Nightmare” you get the eerie experience of a world overrun with zombies, but also a sense of freedom and breathing room because you can go where you want, when you want, and confront the zombies only when you feel damn good and ready. That is, excluding the occasional chase, but it’s fun.

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