Kotaku – Making You Ashamed to be a Gamer Since 2003

Earlier today, deplorable games industry gossip rag Kotaku introduced plans (this is where a link would usually go, but no dice on this one) to roll out a new service, entitled ‘Kotaku Core’. Newly crowned Yellow-Journalist-in-Chief Stephen Totilo explains (somewhat defensively) that people commonly complain that the site, in its continuing quest to live up to its moniker as “The Gamer’s Guide”, sometimes runs afoul of conventional definitions of ‘news’ or ‘what people want to read’ or whatever. Kotaku Core aims to placate these ridiculous cretins by offering a version of the site that compiles just the hard news items, presumably editing out all the good stuff you’d usually see, like 20 solid pages of posts about cake or hundreds of pictures of Brian Crecente grinning at himself.

But why stop there? I would ask. Here’s some other versions they could do.

“Kotaku Spoilers”
“Kotaku Borderline Hentai” (or “Kotaku Bashcraft”)
“Kotaku Banning Commentors for Constructive Criticism”
“Kotaku Misleading Headlines”
“Kotaku Celebrities Seen With or Mentioning Games in Passing”
“Kotaku No Research”
“Kotaku Plummeting Pageviews”