Mass Effect stalwarts, I’m sorry to just slap you across the face with that picture, there, but I really don’t know how to preface it effectively. The part on the right is courtesy of the official Mass Effect 3 art book, from which some wonderful tidbits have just started creeping out onto the web.
So, yeah. Even the SHIP’S COMPUTER is getting all sexed up in this stupid game. I always thought her ‘mouth’ was a tad suggestive in ME2 but I guess I should have been commending them for their subtlety and restraint. How in the HELL are they going to justify giving her a body, let alone one that looks like that? My God, every SINGLE piece of news that comes out about this game is so, so insulting.
Just read that blurb there. “EDI’s body needed to be sexy, chrome, and robotic…”
STOP. STOP. STOP. You guys, seriously. Get a grip.
Also, are you really comparing yourselves to Metropolis?
And just in case you thought that was the only retarded new squad member…
What? Who’s that? New alien race?
No, that’s a Prothean, apparently. Remember what they looked like in ME1? Because it seems like BioWare doesn’t! Also, how could they possibly explain that a member of an omniscient race that has been extinct for 50,000 years is ready to suit up in some Demon’s Souls armor and run around playing guns with you? When the previous games implied that their forms, motives and technology were beyond human comprehension?
I know this is all super nerdy quibbling-about-the-lore or whatever, and God knows I don’t want to do that, but come on. Every DAY there is a new story about some leaked plot detail or new game option or choice from the previous game that actually isn’t going to matter after all…the bad decisions are just piling up so high.
They sold the original game to us as the first part of a sprawling, dynamic story that would pay off for sticking with it. Every time they pull some shady retcon or hugely alter the gameplay mechanics between entries or sex up old characters for no reason besides pandering, it feels like such a CHEAT to me.
Mass Effect was an outstanding, slightly flawed, but ultimately fresh and rewarding experience. Mass Effect 2 was a prompt about-face-and-then-flying-leap in the opposite direction. Right now, Mass Effect 3 looks to be boarding a Concorde Jet for a non-stop flight along that same, errant vector with the final destination in a goddamn black hole of bullshit.